YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
