wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
