So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
