He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
