Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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