if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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