yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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