thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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