Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
