NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
