My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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