I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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