i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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