More tranny stories later!
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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