Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
