I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
