Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the day after is always just damage control
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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