I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
