youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize