honey bunches of taint.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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