So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
