i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
