So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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