Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
