Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
