She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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