ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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