it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
