you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize