No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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