Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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