i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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