She said her name was "party"
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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