Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
