i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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