you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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