it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
