3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize