if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
whose parrot is this?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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