I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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