i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That accounts for only three of the penises
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
