My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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