it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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