you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
