therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
