i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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