so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
operation have a gay friend backfired
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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