real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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