My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
