I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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