operation harelip BJ is a go
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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