I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
