Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
