Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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