so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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