Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
