I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
