I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
