Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
