see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
