well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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