dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you didnt know i had herpes?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
