i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ketchup is God's man juice
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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