none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
