Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
