She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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