he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
