I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
