goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
