The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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