hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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