When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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