ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
