I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
