I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
