They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
