oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
