you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
