508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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