did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
