Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
